there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
