tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize