Buhtt sex?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
