in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
