so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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