Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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