I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
