When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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