it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
