Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
