You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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