Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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