Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
