is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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