Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
