There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize