as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
