How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
