Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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