i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
