be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
