you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
