No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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