Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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