Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize