I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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