I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
