yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
