Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
