i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
