i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
