I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
