Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
