In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
