I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
