I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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