He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
