Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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