We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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