shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
