I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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