I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
