I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
