drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
