My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
