The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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