Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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