I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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