I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
