you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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