i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
