you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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