he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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