dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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