He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
