did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
how does that bad decision feel?
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