i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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