dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
