he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize