no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize