Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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