I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
