i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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