If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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